- By: Arisha Irshad Ali
Marriage is considered a beautiful bond between two humans who live to the last breath. A big commitment for a whole life, which comes with lots of confusion. A new start (fairy tale) In South Asian culture, a girl from childhood has been told that there will be a man (the king) who will come and change your life forever.
These things look pretty, but this concept has been ingested into our minds, so our girls forget to work on themselves and prefer to chase others. Later on, our society will tag them as a gold digger or materialistic.
This childhood concept gives a new lesson to girls: if they want to change their lifestyle, there must be someone other than them who will change it. Which is a lie. How these fairytales are destorying our new minds with fairy tales.
This set too many expectations from the girl side. Instead of telling them reality, our leaders use fantasy. Not every marriage is scary, but what if a person with fairytale imagination meets reality? There will be a nerve shock for the girl.Marriage consoling has no scope in Pakistan, but this is necessary because the divorce ratio has seen a steep rise.
Every Amma of the family with traditional values and thinking is considered a marriage counselor. Which is not bad, but our new generation has new problems that require new solutions. It is not possible to treat a new disease with an outdated medication.Marriage counseling gives you a gist of many realities and gives you a broader perspective on marriage, expectations, and realities.
Marriage is not all about colorful days. The days can be dark and loomy. Which promise that there is sunshine after a thunderstorm. Man and woman have their own expectations and values, which aren’t communicated from the start and may cause big blunders in a dreamy marriage.Moving towards the female gender. Every girl wants to look beautiful on her big day. Which seems obvious because this day is not only near the heart but also the soul.
The soul sister group on Facebook picked a trend named “Shadi ka Jora,” through which a lot of stories came out about how the dress is very near to the bride’s heart. There are many horrible stories that bride-in-laws didn’t allow her to wear the clothes of her choice, and contradictory, we have stories that share that in-laws take care of every wish of a new bride.
Our culture has lots of judgment, which means that there will be comparisons about who looks better, bride or groom. Aren’t they a couple now? Aren’t mental capabilities supposed to be matched instead of physical beauty? This makes things worse. This made a huge impact on the bride’s mind, which seems like a burden because the bride always wanted to look wow.
We all wanted to look beautiful on our best day.Let’s dig deeper into the never-ending expectations of a new bride, which cause lots of confusion. First, a new bride is detaching from their first love (parents), which shocks the nervers.
There is mystery about how in-laws will behave for the rest of their lives because we have the Pakistani drama industry, which shows solely cruel reality, which is good, but yes, it has negative effects as well. Traditional makrs are scan kn the vrain of new bride. What will be the experiences of the mother-in-law, father-in-law and other in-laws of a new bride? In the cooperative world, when they hire a new employee, they give orientation, which eliminates every kind of confusion.
Similarly, our new brides must have an orientation to the core values, traditions, and expectations. This clarity serves the path of a happy life.A world genius won’t be able to fulfill expectations if he doesn’t know what is expected of him. This shows the importance of communication. Things should be communicated to the person who needs to know.Empathy works well instead of judgment. If someone marries an 18-year-old girl with a lot of expectations that she will take care of home,children, finances, a husband and a never-ending list, This is such a brutal act because it might be that this girl is physically mature, but what about emotions and intellect?
Things should be taught well in the beginning. New brides can be more lucky if we treat them with love and let them know what we are expecting. This takes nothing more than 10 minutes, but it saves lives. Tell them that being you is more important.
Our new generation wanted a mother who was confident and courageous. Whose self-belief makes her a home minister?If our new in-laws bring peace, it is probable that our new brides will do wonders. This flower creature craves love,care, respect, and peace.